a time for everything.

I imagine the scariest time for a baby bird must be the day she gets pushed out of her nest.
​I imagine it's also the most exhilarating time. 😉

​God's Word tells us there is an appointed time for everything - that sometimes we're in a season of building and sometimes we're in a season of tearing down; sometimes we need to search and sometimes we need to give up; sometimes we need to hold on to things and sometimes we need to throw those things away; sometimes we need to live in peace and sometimes we need to stand up and fight. 

There is a time for everything - a season for every activity under the heavens, God says.

For 4 years, I stood by and watched helplessly as the life I knew was torn down and the people I love the most were taken from me. When I gave my life to the Lord, Satan, the accuser, took hold of the precious people in my life and I experienced a war like no other. Furious with my decision to leave his dark pit, the evil one waged war on me by attacking what I love (present tense) the most. And without the wisdom to know what was happening to me and without the armour of God to protect me from the constant attacks the enemy sent my way, I did the only thing I knew how to do well at the time - I walked away.

There is a time for everything, God says.

​If I knew then, what I know today, I believe I would have done things differently. And if I was back then, who I am today, I think I would have been able to withstand the storm that was sent my way. But I was so broken. So confused. So hurt. And at that time, the only thing I knew for certain, was that when I sat in His presence, I didn't feel broken anymore.

​The hole that drove me to addictive behaviours was filled, the fear that kept me stuck in delay vanished, and the hurt I had held on too for so many years melted away. I felt safe with Him. Whole with Him. Seen and heard by Him.​ I felt a "peace that surpassed all understanding" and I was determined to protect the new relationship I had with the Most High God at all costs.
​
1 year ago, I walked away from anything and everything that tried to make me doubt the Lord Jesus Christ. I threw away everything I owed that dishonoured Him and I gave away everything that distracted me from His presence. The house my husband and I build with our own hands, the new career I had come to love, the city I had built so many great memories in, and the family and friends I cherished with all my heart - all gone in an instant. 

I secluded myself from almost every aspect of this world because I needed to drown out the lies I had become accustomed too in order to hear the voice of the One True Living God. I spent a year in the wilderness learning how to rely on the Lord for my help and my strength - and I am so glad I did. He healed me, gave me new life, and taught me His ways. He filled my heart with His forgiveness, my mind with His words, and my body with His Holy Spirit. I am a new creation because of Him. I have truly been transformed. 

There is a time for everything, God says.

I picture myself as that baby bird I mentioned at the beginning of this post. Warm inside her nest with the comfort and care of her Provider. Safe under His wing. Sheltered by His authority. Loved by His grace and mercy. I want nothing more than to stay exactly where I am. Even though the nest continues to get smaller around me as I grow - even though the world I observe from my safe nest is calling to me for my help - even though I admire the other birds soaring with purpose above me; I would still rather stay where I am. It's safe here. And for someone who has never felt safe in her past, it's a hard thing to give up.

But the seasons are changing. God says. "You are no longer the one who needs the nest." 

Even though I don't like it, I know what God is telling me is the truth. It's time for me to let go. Time for me to start something new. 

And as I listen to the voice of God and step onto the edge of my nest to fly for the first time, I am reminded of everything I left behind.......

​All the precious people who will always remain in my heart and in my prayers. Flashbacks of all the pain and all the joy I experienced in my younger years. All the memories, of a time before I knew Him, dance inside my mind today. I will never forget who I was or where I came from and I am grateful for every person who crossed my path and played a part in my story. I really do love you.

But it's time for me to more forward now. It's time for me to stop looking back and wishing that things were different. It's time for me to say good bye and start again. God says it's time for me to build, to search, to hold on to the things of God, and to bring peace to those to seek it. It's time for me to walk the Christian walk. 

I am no longer a disciple, but an apostle of Christ, He says.

So in steadfast obedience to His direction, I spread out my wings, praise Him for saving me from my own destruction, and step off the edge without looking back and with complete trust and faith that God, and God alone, will give me flight.