I used to think I needed to fix myself - that I needed to be clean and pure before I could stand before my Father's Throne of Grace and ask for His forgiveness.

​I used to believe that I needed to be strong - that if only I could find a way to muster up the "will power" and "inner strength" to fight back against my demons - then I would be delivered.

For so long, I relied on myself. I listened to the voices in my head, depended on the stories of my past, built up walls to try and keep the enemy out, and made myself small in hopes that if no one could see me - well, maybe then - I would finally be left alone. 

But no matter how hard I tried. No matter the effort I gave - alone in battle, I would fall. 

I would cry out, "In Jesus name" and pray for hours in solitude. I would fast for days and read the LORD's Word desperately seeking the part I was missing for my victory to be made manifest.

​But my breakthrough did not come.......

​Whatever victories I managed to achieve in the morning never lasted; when darkness came - when the demons resurfaced to take back what they thought was rightfully theirs in the night - alone in battle, I would fall.

But I knew that God was preserving me; always understood that for some reason, my Father in the sky favored me. How else could I explain my life? The blessings He bestowed upon me? The gifts I did not deserve always placed miraculously into my unreaching hands.

​Even the people around me could see I had His favor - could see the anointing He placed on my life. They didn't know that's what they saw of course - because they didn't know my Father - they  simply believed I was "lucky" and it made them envious and angry in ways I could not understand.

Every time I succeeded, their hearts hardened a little more. 

I was both loved and hated by many. Those around me loved to benefit from my blessings, but they hated to see me succeed in ways they could not. Envy is a murderous spirit and for many who claimed to love me, they could not accept God's favor on my life. I was the one who got the boy, the one who scored the lead role, the one who aced the test she didn't study for, the one who got the job she didn't have the degree for, the one who men fawned over, the one who married her soul mate on a mountain top in Peru, the one who lived in a home built for a princess, the one who looked younger and prettier with age, the one who travelled abroad to fun and exciting places.

Perhaps, if the tables were turned. I would have hated me too. 🤔
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​I don't know why God favored me. "the LORD giveth, and the LORD taketh away." (Job 1:21) You'll have to take up your complaint with Him.

​But while my life may have appeared perfect and easy on the outside, I was being tormented on the inside. I may have had all the material things a person hopes for in this world, but my spirit was broken and in despair; wrapped up in bondage and chains from the evil I met early in my life. The memories of my past haunted me daily; and the parts of my past that were erased and forgotten frightened me more than the ones I could remember.
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​"What did I do? What causes someone to behave that way? Am I evil? Am I filthy? Am I doomed?"

Everyday I was reminded by the evil one that I didn't deserve my blessings; that I was taking more than I was giving back; that I was greedy, selfish, vain, and impure; that God didn't love me; He didn't forgive me; He didn't want me in His presence. I was filthy. I was nasty. I was unsavable. I didn't belong to Light of the world - I belonged to the dark lord of the night. That my rightful place was in his pit and I was created to serve his every whim, every demand, and every desire until he was tired of me and decided to throw me back. 

That was the fate of the wicked, he told me, and I was wicked.

In the very core of my being, I always knew my Father in the sky loved me and was calling me home - but the enemy tricked me with his lies, deceit, and accusations for most of my life. 

The devil made me believe that God only wanted the righteous, the clean, the pure. But that was a lie from the pits of hell.

God is nothing like Satan.

He doesn't kick you when you're down. He doesn't point out your flaws. He doesn't mock your pleas for help. He doesn't turn away from you in disgust when you need him the most. 

That is not who the Father in the sky is. That is not the LORD Jesus Christ. That is not the precious holy spirit of the Most High God. 

The LORD of everything and everyone, is a gentleman. He sees you lying in the dirt and He reaches out a hand to lift you up. He sees the tears run down your face and he takes His hand and wipes them gently from your cheek. He hears you call out in the darkest of nights and comes to your bedside to hold you while you sleep. He whispers words of encouragement for your victory and words of caution for your protection. He is the friend you never had, but always wanted. The hope you longed for, but were afraid to trust in. The love that stays true no matter how poorly you act, and the strength you wish you could find in yourself, but were always left wanting.

​I could never be good enough on my own to stand before the King of the Universe and be deemed worthy. I am a sinner - underserving of His grace - that part is true.

​But I am not unworthy of His love, and neither are you.

The LORD giveth and He taketh away and He has given me a gift - the gift of eternal life in His son Jesus Christ. And while I may have done nothing to deserve His favor, His grace, His mercy, and His compassion. I will gladly accept this underserved gift and cherish it all the days of my life. 

Jesus is my righteousness. Jesus is my defender. Jesus is my strength. Jesus is my deliverer.

​So while I may look like a tiny, helpless kitten in this jungle of a world - it is no matter to me anymore. I am not afraid of this world - no longer worried about the forces of darkness that lie awake in the night;

Father God, Your shadow of protection can be seen from miles away and no demon from my past dares to approach me now. The dark lord trembles at the sight of You, my King; he bows low in the presence of Your Glory and then scurries off to his place of desolation and destruction, for a time. 

It took me many years to get to this place; many tears and many lonely nights to realize that the strength to overcome and endure does not come from me - it comes from Him. "Yes, you took the long way around precious daughter of mine, but every mile mattered," my Father in Heaven lovingly whispers in my spirit.

Thank you Father.

The journey back home was a hard one for me. The lifting of the veil of deception was blinding to my eyes, and the process I needed to endure to be free from the demonic trance I was under, broke me in many ways.

But it was worth it.

I am with Him now. I am home; safe, free and unconditionally loved forever more. I am so very grateful for the life He gave me. Very grateful, indeed.

I hope my story gives you comfort in your pain and suffering today. I hope my words are an encouragement for you to keep going - to not give up. But more than anything, I hope my story points you back to what really matters - our Father in Heaven. 

For He is the first and the last. The beginning and the end. He is before all things and over all things He reigns. He is your helper and He truly is your only hope.

Put on the LORD Jesus Christ today and let Him be your strength.
Let Him fight your battles.
​Let Him guard and protect your heart.

Alone in battle, you will fall.
But with God - you cannot lose.
Praise God.  ​💗

The wicked will be punished. Those who do not learn from their mistakes and ask for forgiveness will be persecuted for their sins. God's wrath will come upon the whole earth and only those covered with the blood of His Son, Jesus Christ, will be spared.

To those who continue to inflict harm on others and refuse to repent - your time is short. 

To those who follow the LORD Jesus Christ with your body, mind, and soul - hang in there. Endure until the end. You will be vindicated and your enemies will become your footstool.  

Continue to pray for those who hate you and persecute you - for their end is eternal darkness, torment, pain, and anguish. Pray they fall to their knees and ask the Almighty God for forgiveness before it is too late. Pray they choose to become a new creature in Christ.

​Pray for their redemption. 

The wicked have no hope. No love. No salvation. Their hearts have been blackened. Their spirits taken over by the devil. SO PRAY FOR THEM. Pray that they come to know the peace of our LORD that surpasses all understanding. For "many are the afflictions of the righteous, But the LORD delivers him out of them all."(Psalm 34:19).

My friend, we have the LORD to fight our battles, but the wicked are left alone to battle the demons from hell. So pray for them. You just might be their only hope​ - the only light that shines upon their very dark journey......

Blessings XO

​P.S God continues to put Psalm 36 on my heart. I encourage you to read it. You can also listen to me read it out loud HERE.

The LORD shared this passage with me today in response to my prayers for my unsaved family and friends. It will always be my prayer that everyone I know learns to humble themselves before the LORD, but I also understand that some people may choose to disobey and reject His Grace. 

However. I need to make sure everyone is aware of this one important fact.......

​If you reject God - the One True Living God that is (not the one you made up in your mind or the demons you made a pact with) then you will spend eternity separated from His love and His light. You will be in a place of complete and utter darkness - with no hope of escape and no Saviour to call upon for help. Do you really want to be separated from everything that is perfect, loving, and good?

And if you think that hell is "no big deal" than you really need to watch this video ASAP.

​You can listen to the Bible Reading of Psalm 36 >>HERE<<

Click HERE to listen to more bible readings ​💓